25 Wake Up Calls That Remind You You’ve Entered Adult Life

Cue “What’s My Age Again?” Actually, cue any Blink-182 song and it will probably suffice. Here are 25 things that will inevitably make you ask, “Am I really old enough for this?”

1. The first time you have to book (and pay for) your ticket home for the holidays.
2. When your first friend gets married. Not when your older sibling gets married, or your sibling’s best friend, but when your first close friend ties the knot.
3. When you manage to regurgitate the information your dad told you about a 401(k) and pass it off like you know what you’re talking about.
4. Paying your own rent and utilities, when it comes out of your hard-earned money, not money someone put in your bank account.
5. When crying doesn’t get you out of a speeding ticket. It’s weird that we can’t use the “I just got my license” line because that hasn’t been true for 7+ years.
6. Getting your own health insurance. Look down at your insurance card. Does it have your family’s name on it, or your company’s? If it’s the latter, feel free to freak out.
7. When your metabolism starts to slow down and you realize you actually aren’t hungry all the time.
8. Booking your first vacation sans parents.
9. When you pass by your old high school and the freshman look like toddlers.
10. The first time you have to book your own dentist appointment.  BTW, your parents made you brush your teeth because cavities are obscenely expensive.
11. Buying bleach.
12. Actually being able to step in and buy your parents a cup of coffee, or lunch, and not just because it’s their birthday.
13. When someone over the age of 40 tries whatever appetizer you brought and says, “You must give me that recipe.” (The only time this has ever happened to me was with my spinach and artichoke dip at a holiday party. I was too embarrassed to tell the woman that reason it’s so good is because I use an unhealthy amount of cream cheese.)
14. Facing the realization that you will not end up with your high school sweetheart. Unless of course you’re married to your high school love, in which case, God bless.
15. Breaking down and buying your own gym membership, instead of just using your mom or dad’s because you look enough alike.
16. Deleting Snapchat because it’s a waste of time. Let’s be clear, you’re going to download it again in 3 weeks, but that’s okay.
17. Checking the weather before you leave the house and remembering to wear layers.
18. Reminding other people that it’s going to get cold so they should probably wear layers. This could also be a sign that you’re becoming a control freak, but I’m going to call it “adulthood” instead.
19. Getting your first paycheck with a comma in it.
20. Realizing that your first paycheck with a comma in it has to last you two weeks and pay your rent.
21. Taking out a loan to buy a car/television/XBOX.
22. Planning a bachelor or bachelorette party.
23. Signing up for a frequent flyer card, or having a frequent flyer number. (I really have no idea what the right terminology for this is because I haven’t quite checked this one off the list.)
24. Hosting Thanksgiving.
25. Getting a call, email or text from someone in college, because they think you might actually be able to give them advice. 

Originally published on Thought Catalog.

8 Reasons Why Immigration is a Sexier Subject Than You Think

Immigration isn’t exactly an issue that puts people on the edge of their seat. It hasn’t been in the spotlight much in that past two years, giving us yet another reason to ignore its existence. Well, much like Britney Spears every three years, immigration is making a comeback. In the next few weeks, it’ll be taking the spotlight at a precarious time (think: Britney, circa 2009). Here are a few reasons why immigration is such a hot topic right now:

1. Have you heard? The Republicans are in the majority.

Once upon a time, before the midterm elections, Democrats were in the White House and held the majority in the Senate. (The Republicans had the House.) That all changed on November 4 and now 2/3s of the branches of government can push against immigration reform.

2. If there was ever a time to care, it’d be now.

For the past two years, very little has happened with immigration reform. The last time immigration was big news, it was because Obama had to tell Arizona that their crackdown was unconstitutional in 2010. Now (literally, this week) something big is expected to happen.

3. This plan could stop up to 5 million immigrants from getting deported

Obama wants to get working papers for the children of illegal immigrants, who were born in the United States to ensure they don’t get deported. (If your reaction is, “Excuse me, why don’t they have the papers already because they’re lawful citizens?” that makes you a Democrat.)

4. Executive Order FTW

Seeing as Obama has no other branch of government to back him, there’s a lot of talk about him using executive order to pass any sort of immigration reform. What does this mean exactly? The seventh grade social studies definition of an executive order is “an order with the force of law issued by the President of the United States.”

5. There’s a possibility for reducing our criminal population.

Obama’s plan wants to prioritize who we’re deporting. His plan is to focus on deporting the criminal population of immigrants, as opposed to just any undocumented worker. (That is NOT meant to be read as “all criminals are immigrants,” because that’s untrue.)

6. The clock’s ticking

Obama has made it very clear that he wants something to happen before the end of this year. Just FYI, there are six weeks left in the year and two major holiday breaks. In political terms, that means something needs to happen ASAP.

7. Immigration touches more issues that we realize

Immigration policy doesn’t just affect our borders. It affects issues that hit much closer to home (healthcare and education, for example). A few questions that will come up alongside immigration are:

• Do you need to prove your immigration status to collect Obamacare?
• Can undocumented immigrants pay in-state tuition?
• How will we ensure young immigrants speak English well enough to attend grade school?
• Should illegal immigrants be allowed to obtain driver’s licenses? (Oregon originally answered “yes,” but just voted to overrule that law on Nov. 4)

8. There’s nothing sexier than impeachment.

There are a few rumors that Republicans are threatening to impeach Obama if he moves forward with the executive order. Whether that’s an empty threat or not is irrelevant. It doesn’t need to have any truth to keep getting mentioned and all the GOP needs to do is say “Obama” and “impeachment” in the same breath, as often as possible. Impeachment sells almost as well as anything related to Monica Lewinsky.

 

Originally published on Thought Catalog.

A 6 Step Guide to having an Anxiety Attack and Still Making it to Work on Time

 

When you’re on an anxiety kick, your thoughts gain momentum and your speedometer goes from zero to 100 in a matter of seconds. You leave rational thought in the dust and barrel toward breathing-into-a-paper-bag status. For those of you that have never experienced this feeling, it’s comparable to that time you took too much adderall and thought you were having heart palpitations. (What? You didn’t do that junior year of college?)

Eventually, it subsides and real life comes crashing back into the picture.

And that’s when it hits me: I’m gonna be so late for work.

Anxiety wasn’t always a morning thing for me. When I first moved to LA, it was whenever I hit traffic. (Something about that feeling of going nowhere on the 405, and not being able to do anything about it, sent me reeling.) As a kid, it was around meal times. I’m sure one of these days it’ll move back to the before dinner slot, an old favorite.

We always talk about anxiety like it happens when you’re alone, in a corner, in a dark room. The fact is, you could be overcome by anxiety in public, and no one would ever know it.  And because it’s internal, the moment it’s passed is no different from the moment before to anyone else.

You’ve just got to go with it. It’s a bizarre thing to be shaking one minute and walking into work the next. Making pleasantries about cereal choices and bad coffee feels different when you’re still trying to steady your heart rate.

All too often I get asked: “Have you tried meditating, yet?”

Absolutely, I have. (I respond with an unjustified amount of sass, because I’m Indian and my people were meditating centuries before hot yoga came to Hollywood, thank you very much.)

Meditation is a great solution, but the key is to let thoughts pass when they come to you. On the flip side, anxiety works by snatching concerning thoughts that pass and multiplying them. So, if you can pull off meditation, it’s incredibly helpful. If you can’t, you’re just sitting there, with good posture, while the need for peace and the need to freak-out wage war on your mind. It’s a great recipe for a splitting headache.

I’m not giving up on meditation any time soon, but I’m trying a new tactic. If you can’t tame your thoughts or push them away, then it’s better to channel your energy in to other things when you feel the anxiety coming on. You’re not giving your mind the opportunity to go spiraling into the deep end if you’re consumed in something else. A few things to try in lieu (or in addition) to meditation:

1. Cook

Get lost in chopping vegetables. Follow a recipe. Learn to poach eggs… it requires more concentration than you think.

2. Read or write

Lose yourself tapping away on your keyboard, reading an interesting article, or even revisiting Gone Girl for the third time. In the morning, I routinely read the news before starting my work, and it helps steady my day.

3. Listen to comedy

It really works to quell traffic anxiety. It’s also how I developed a huge crush on John Mulaney. You can find comedy radio on Pandora or Spotify.

4. Stop scrolling

I often scroll through Facebook unconsciously, but don’t actually process, which leaves my mind to wander in a negative direction. Instead, click on one of the articles someone’s posted and read it. Play with filters and post a picture to Instagram. Do whatever will make you more engaged.

5. Move

Stretch. Do yoga in your living room. Jump up and down. Generally when anxiety starts to set in, I stop moving. Break the trend and go do a handstand and it’ll remind you to not let the anxiety take over.

6. Clean

I’ve heard others say this works for them. I’m jealous. It’s never worked for me. Instead, I just have anxiety and an apartment that desperately needs to be vacuumed. So if it does work for you, hats off.

It also helps if you can realize that while some of the concerns we encounter are very serious, occasionally we all have some ridiculous freak-outs. Try to laugh at yourself. (On more than one occasion, I’ve had someone remark on how concerned I look standing in the middle of a Trader Joes. It’s never not hilarious.) I don’t care how cliché it sounds: Smiling really does relieve tension.

Originally published on Thought Catalog.

The 6 Hottest Workout Trends that are Actually Worth Trying

Recently, we’ve entered a workout era where Zumba seems tame and spinning seems ancient. I can always get into a good spin class, but have you noticed that movies made in 2005 had a spinning scene (Fever Pitch), and the movies made recently always have a scene in a yoga studio (and ScoJo as a yoga teacher)?

There’s an aerobic version of just about anything these days. The variety of exercise classes in which you can experiment (yes, I meant for that to sound sexual), embarrass yourself, and work your glutes all at the same time is insane. I don’t know why I’m surprised. After all, we’re also in the era of the standing desk. Here are a few of the latest workout trends you should consider trying:

1. Pole dancing.

People have been talking about stripper workouts for years, and we’re now officially at the point where you can stumble upon a pole dancing studio on your way home from work. When that happens, go in. Don’t underestimate the amount of arm strength you’ll need. The whole “be sexy on command” thing is a bit much for some, but if you can let yourself go, you might find it helps you loosen up. Plus, what’s not to love about spinning around a pole?

2. Aerial yoga.

“JACK, I’M FLYING.”

No, really. While it may not be the most strenuous type of yoga, it’s the most daring. Talk about “elevating your practice.” Everyone needs a break from the good ol’ downward dog. By the way, they make you sign a waiver.

3. Barre classes (Pronounced “bar.” The extra “re” is just to make it look extra pretentious via text.)

The fact that you need to have any sort of ballet training for barre classes is false. Barre training is mainly about strengthening your core. It’s methodical, repetitive and very controlled. The perk- other than feeling like a pretty, pretty ballerina – is that it’s no impact, so you’re never straining your knees too much, or hurting your wrist on a punching bag.

4. Hula-hooping classes.

They originated in Venice Beach, CA. (No one’s surprised.) These hoop classes use the heavy, good-for-your-abs type of hula hoops. You really kill two birds in one stone: tone your core and get ready for your next music festival. Toss your hoop up in the air, and prepare to be surprised when the heaviness makes your arms sore the next day.

4. Bootcamps.

Most gyms and dance studios offer a “bootcamp” type class, and now there are even a few centers that are solely bootcamp outlets. The name’s a giveaway- it’s army type workout. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Burpees. Repeat. It’s literally the “let’s see how fast we can have everyone on the ground begging for mercy” class. If you find a good place to go, walking’s going to be difficult the next day. Kim Kardashian’s known for attending a bootcamp in LA, and we can all see how well it’s working out for her.

6. Martial arts/self-defense

I know martial arts have been around since the dawn of time, etc, etc, and most of us grew up with a sibling who did Tae Kwon Do or Judo. But it’s one thing to be forced to take a self-defense class when you turn 16, and another thing to actively seek one out. Self-defense classes have become extremely popular on college campuses. It’s good for you to learn how to protect yourself, and it’s a good workout. And if you can take it on a campus for college credit, so much the better. 

I’m not saying we’re all destined to become aerial champs, or avid pole dancers. What I’m saying is: When else are you going to get a chance to learn what it feels like to glide around a pole with a pouty face?  When else are you going to get a chance to fly through the air and hang upside down in yoga class? Now’s the time.

There is Only One Appropriate Reaction to Brittany Maynard’s Passing

When Brittany Maynard was diagnosed with brain cancer, she was told she could still have up to 10 years to live. Two months later, she learned her cancer was stage four, giving her 6 months to live. She moved her family from California to Oregon, one of the five states to allow people with a terminal illness to end their own lives. At the time of her diagnosis, the 29-year-old had just celebrated her first year of marriage and was looking to start a family.

Brittany Maynard ended her life, as planned, on November 1. There were whispers that she would extend the date, but she chose to pass 2 days after her husband’s birthday as she’d intended. Her story was publicized because she wanted to raise awareness and push political action in California and across the nation.

 Now it’s less than a week after her death and all people can talk about is how it played on social media. All reports can say is that Chris Christie opposes the right-to-die measure. (Really? Who’s finding that surprising?)

Yes, Brittany Maynard wanted to start a conversation, but could we all show a little respect first?

Suicide implies that you chose death when you could have chosen life. For Brittany, choosing life wasn’t an option. That option was taken off the table by stage four brain cancer. After moving to Oregon, she was given the prescription pills that would end her life and kept them in a safe place for when she needed them. It provided comfort to her.

And it doesn’t matter whether you or I think that’s a bad thing or not.

For the past 6 months as Brittany Maynard’s traveled with her loved ones and experienced life’s beauty before she couldn’t anymore, we’ve been screaming about politics. Catholic groups think that Brittany’s committed a mortal sin. Can you imagine being 29 and terrified at the fact that your best option is to take your own life? Then try adding the fact that half the country thinks you’re going to hell because of your decision. Whether or not you support the Death with Dignity Act, it’s important to remember how much courage this woman showed.

Then there’s the left, who are saying, look! See! We told you these laws were necessary. This is equally unhelpful. Now is not the time to cheerlead death.

The only appropriate reaction right now is respect. The only words that should be coming out of people’s mouths are some variation of, “I’m so sorry for Brittany’s struggles, and for her family’s loss.”

I get that this won’t happen. I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be nice if we all remembered for one moment that we don’t know what it’s like to be one of the countless people in this world suffering from a terminal illness?

I have an opinion on Brittany’s situation, but I don’t know if it’s the right opinion because I don’t know what it’s like to contract a terminal illness and be told I have 6 months to live. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you don’t either. So let’s all stop pretending that we know what’s best in this situation. We don’t.

 

Originally published on Thought Catalog.

Why You Should Wake Up with theSkimm

There are a lot of things I like to stare aimlessly at in the morning. My coffee maker, my view, my cereal box, my coffee maker, my running shoes, which I wish I’d avoid acknowledging because I’m not going for a run, and my coffee maker. The thing I find most helpful to stare at, especially once my cognitive reasoning and caffeine kicks in, is theSkimm. It’s an e-newsletter that gives you a concise, fun version of the day’s top stories. Here are five reasons it should be part of your morning routine:

1. They make dick jokes

The tone of theSkimm is what makes it readable. The headlines are pithy, humorous and to the point. It’s a treat when the lead of a story reads, “In other crotch grabbing news…” Also, when the first line of the story reads, “Are you ready to unveil the D?” it guarantees that I will keep reading. (Hey, I’m not perverted. I’m just your average 23-year-old.)

2. You’ll have something to say when people start talking about current events

Whether you’re in college, in the working world, or somewhere in between, current events are going to come up. When someone says, “Hey, did you hear about blah blah blah?” it’s nice to know what they’re talking about. Wouldn’t it be great if you could say, “Yeah, I can’t even believe that Blah would make a statement like that”? Trust me, it’s pretty gratifying.

3. It’ll take you 5 minutes to read

In the amount of time you waste waiting for your coffee to brew, or waiting in line at Starbucks, you can read theSkimm. Don’t get me wrong, I love sitting in front of my computer clicking through eight different news outlets. Sometimes, though, there just isn’t time. That’s where theSkimm comes in to play.

4. You need a hip start-up to get behind, anyway

It’s 2014, what’s your favorite start-up? Whether we admit to it, or don’t, we want to be in on the hip, new thing. This, in my own humble opinion, is it. They started from the bottom, now they’re on Oprah. If theSkimm starts trending on Twitter, you’ll be glad you know what it is.

5. Because OPRAH

That’s right, Oprah skimms. In fact, her network, OWN, and theSkimm now have a fancy digital partnership. If there’s one influential lady you want endorsing you, it’s Oprah. She’s featuring theSkimm’s “Things to Know” section on her website. It’s the section that taught me about Ello and bulletproof coffee (coffee with butter in it).

7 Things to Know about the (Maybe Pregnant) Teenagers Who Became ISIS Poster Girls

We’re used to hearing ISIS in the same breath as “beheading” and “terrorism.” Now, ISIS is trending alongside words like “Facebook” and “teenager.” Their two poster girls are Samra Kesinovic, 17, and Sabina Semilovic, 15. In April, they left their homes in Vienna and made it to Syria, where they joined ISIS. They each wrote their parents a note saying they were prepared to die for Allah. Samra and Sabina are now “jihadi brides,” married to ISIS militants. Here are a few things you should know about the pair of ISIS teens:

1. They’re using social media to show how much they like their new lives.

They’ve posted pictures of themselves in the their new traditional dress. Just because you join ISIS doesn’t mean you stop taking selfies. In a few of the pictures they’re pointing upward, which is the equivalent of an ISIS gang sign.

2. They may not be controlling their own social channels.

It’s possible that to keep a facade, and dispel negative rumors, others have taken over the girls’ social media accounts. One theory is that the images posted may be images of other women. The burkas cover so much of their faces that it’s not exactly a stretch.

3. Sabina just did an interview with Paris Match

The magazine confirmed that her husband gave her permission to do the interview and that he was present while she texted her answers to the reporter. In the interview, Sabina said she’s enjoying her new life and feels free to practice her religion. She denied the rumor of her pregnancy and raved about still being able to eat nutella. Twist: authorities now think she was held at gun point and forced to do the interview.

4. One of them wants to come home. We’re not so sure about the other one.

Samra was able to contact friends or family in Vienna (supposedly) and said she wants to come home. Sabina wants to stay. Though, it’s possible she does want to come home and was forced to say otherwise in her interview.

5. Both are believe to be pregnant

Experts think the women being lured to ISIS aren’t there to fight. They’re there to marry and have children. ISIS is moving toward recruiting more women, in very 21st century ways.

6. If they return to Austria, they could face prison time.

Of course, the safety and well-being of these girls is the main concern. ISIS won’t want to let them go home. If the girls do escape and make it back to Austria, being part of a known terrorist organization won’t bode well for them. They could face 5 years in prison.

7. No one really knows what’s real or what’s fake.

Propaganda is the name of the game. The unfortunate fact is both girls could have already been killed, and we just think they’re alive because of an Instagram feed. Though, if it helps, a Paris Match reporter can find the 15-year-old, even when Interpol can’t.

Originally posted on Thought Catalog.